theurgetowriteeverything.blogg.se

I am not in love with him anymore.
And that hurts me more than words can describe.

I just don't feel anything when I look at him, it's all empty.

All the feelings are gone. And I can't help it, I can't controll it.

And I'm millions times sorry. Because I know he is over the top of his head in love with me.

I was in love with him but I didn't really LOVE him.

And now I am going to break him in a million pieces. And break his heart as hard as I'm not sure he will believe in love for a long time. And I don't want to break him, I don't want to hurt him.

But I have really tried, tried to feel, tried to just keep on cause it will get better. But it has not become better. It is still wrong and it hurts not to feel as he feels. It hurts and it feels like hell to have it like this.

Wanting to be in love and beeing all the way away from it. 

I don't feel anything.

He feels like a friend. A good friend. But not someone I want to be together with. I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore.

And we are in the same little friendsgroup (8 people) and I am not going to back down, to say that I can't meet up with them because he is there, but I don't want him to feel that either, even tho I think he will.

 

He is so so in love.

And I am so so out of love.

 

And I am so sorry for everything, that I am not crazy for you like you are for me.

 

And once again I have a feeling that this relationship is bringing me down more than pulling me up. And that sucks.

 

But for both our sakes, for the happiness for both of our hearts (eventually ofc) I think that it's better that we break up. That we don't keep up a relationship where not both parts are equally in love with eachother. It's not a good realtionship where only one of two parts want to participate.

 

And we need to talk. Talk about this. And I need to say that I am not in love with you anymore. That I don't want to be together anymore. But that I like you so so much, as a friend. And that I hope that I won't loose you as a friend.

 

Please, I am really sorry, I didn't want it to end like this. Ofc I want to have feelings for you. But over a while now they have slipped away through my fingers until eventually not beeing there anymore. And I hate it, so much, but I can't help it, I can't controll it, as much as I want to... </3